


Mullet

by Awseomness



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Arguments about Keith's hair, Comedy, Fluff, Gen, Just kind of a weird character ramble I wanted to make, Keith and Romelle are step-siblings, Mostly Dialogue, Romelle is a Weird Girl tm, Surreal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:42:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24948628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awseomness/pseuds/Awseomness
Summary: "He doesn't have a mullet.""Yes he does.""Mother****er I have checked!"
Relationships: Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith & Romelle (Voltron), Lance & Romelle (Voltron)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	Mullet

"He doesn't have a mullet."

Lance glanced up from the paperwork he was working on (and boy, if there was one thing he didn't miss while he was in space, it was paperwork). Romelle was looking at him with a very serious expression.

He raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Keith." She said, like it was obvious. "He doesn't have a mullet."

"Yes he does." Lance gestured vaguely to his hair. "Keith's hair is a mullet."

She shook her head. "It's not. I looked it up. A mullet is an earthling hairstyle with short hair in the front and long hair in the back."

"Yeah. Like what Keith has."

"His hair is the same length all around."

"What?"

"I measured it."

He stared at her. "...when did you measure it?"

"While he was sleeping."

The flourescent lights of the Galaxy Garrison buzzed above their heads. It was just the two of them here. Lance didn't remember when Romelle came in. It might have been while he was distracted. She might have come here specifically to tell him this.

"Why did you measure Keith's hair in his sleep?"

"To see if he had a mullet." Again, said like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"It's still... it's still a kind of mullet." He blinks. "His bangs don't come down as far as the rest of his hair."

"That's because his bangs start higher up on his head. But the hairs come to the same length."

"It's not about the individual hairs." He glanced back down at his paperwork. No, he couldn't focus on that right now.

"The premise of a mullet is 'business in the front, party in the back'." Romelle pushed herself up from the table. "Keith's hair does not qualify as 'business in the front' by any reasonable standards."

"Well, I mean-"

"Lotor's hair was more of a mullet than Keith's is."

The buzzing of the lights filled the silence between them. The room was mostly grey, with the standard orange stripe across the walls. Dark carpet. A few tables with attached benches, like you would find in a cafeteria. A vending machine over in the corner.

"Look, maybe 'a mullet' didn't use to refer to Keith's hair, but times change." Lance tried. "Nowadays, his hair qualifies as a mullet."

"You can't just call any medium-length hairdo a mullet. It renders the term meaningless." She crossed her arms. "Moreover, you can't make fun of someone for having a mullet if all that means is their hair reaches their shoulders."

"Is that what this is about?" Lance shook his head. "You measured Keith's hair in his sleep because I was making fun of him?"

"I looked up 'mullet' because you were making fun of him. I measured his hair because I was curious."

"In his sleep?"

"Why are you focused on that part?"

"Because it's creepy."

"Oh, like you've never measured a sibling's hair in their sleep."

"I've literally never done that!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's creepy! Does Keith know you were measuring him in his sleep?" He asked.

"Why would he care?"

"Maybe it's just a human thing, but we tend to be weirded out by that."

"You humans have hang-ups."

"Would you be comfortable if you woke up and Keith was standing over you with a measuring tape?"

She nodded.

He sighed.

"Look," he said, "where do you want this to go?"

"I want you to admit that it's not a mullet."

"I'm not going to do that."

"Do you want me to bring Keith here? Because I can go get him. We can examine him thoroughly."

"Please don't say that about your step brother."

"Why not?"

"It's-"

"-Creepy. Got it." She shakes her head. "Why is that creepy?"

"Because it sounds like you're attracted to your brother!"

"Because I'm willing to look at him?"

"Yes!" Lance's expression faltered. "Well... not just... It sounds like a euphemism when you say it like that."

"Like what?"

"At all."

"I know for a fact that you've seen your siblings."

"Yeah, but I haven't, like, *looked* at them."

She watched him with a puzzled expression. The air was dry. It was Winter, and the heaters were doing their best to keep the temperature bareable. Dry air was better than freezing air.

"Why don't you want to admit he doesn't have a mullet?"

He didn't answer right away. He looked back down at the paperwork he was still filling out.

Romelle sat back down. "Lance?"

He mumbled something.

"Lance, please talk to me."

He groaned. "I came up with, like, a hundred mullet jokes while Keith was with the Blades, and I don't wanna throw them out just because it's not totally accurate!"

She pinched him.

"Yow! What was that for?"

"You came up with a hundred mullet jokes?" She looked pissed. "Lance, he has so many other qualities you can make fun of! Why would you focus on the mullet?"

"It's easy!"

"He lived alone in a shack in the desert for a year! He's a grouchy loner with a deathwish! He dreams about bunnies and talks about them in his sleep!"

"Yeah, but-"

"Lance, he always, *always* has a knife on him. There is so much there to make fun of! And you spent how long writing mullet jokes?"

"Look, you didn't see him back at the flight academy. First year, he definitely had a mullet."

"Even if he did, he doesn't now. Quiznack, what if he had cut his hair while he was with the Blades? What were you going to do then? Keep making mullet jokes at buzzcut Keith?"

"I don't know!"

"If you need help writing jokes, I will help you, Lance." She leaned across the table, pleading to him with her eyes. "But the mullet jokes have to stop! They don't make any sense!"

"Fine! You wanna help me make fun of your brother, let's do that then!"

"Great!"

"Good!"

"Excellent!"

"We'll meet back here tomorrow at two PM! Bring a notepad!"

"I will!" She stood from the table and walked out of the room.

Lance watched her go and waited until he couldn't hear her footsteps anymore. Then he slumped down onto the table. "Being friends with Romelle is so exhausting."


End file.
